talking too much

Yesterday I went to church to pay my landlord rent.

First I gave them (also there was a former church employee, both arranging flowers for the church), a few cn copies of Andrew Murray’s New Life. They responded: did this cost you money? You shouldn’t have purchased them. You should first be concerned of your livelihood.

I told them that you should have told me this 15 years ago, because I thought the harvest was there.

Then they asked me of my housing situation. She said, well you shouldn’t mind the neighbors (of the flat, I store my stuff at).

They knew I lived at a motel, even a rather cheaper one (4k rmb, above $600/month).

But at 4k, the former church employee said, I live on 2k/month and save 1000. I almost got to the point of telling them that I needed to register in order to stay in the country, and furthermore that if I lived at the flat without registering could be very problematic for the landlord [the neighborhood police 12 years ago demanded (extort) some amount of money from my then landlord 1k or 10k can’t remember]. I also have been fined.

But unfortunately I did not say those things, because when I left I realized that this might be gossiped all over the church.

I remember August of 1997 before living in Shanghai, I was getting my shoes fixed at the neighborhood behind the scrappy hotel I was residing. Then a waiting customer said: where do you live?

Look where I live in a modern highrise with foreign corporate tenants. I even go abroad every year to visit my children in the USA.

I thought of the arrogance of that professor was enormous because he was making that poor shoe cobbler fixing his shoes for scrap (as those wages were, I pay a small tip) and making him feel very, very diminished– he will hardly have that opportunity. I thought I would never do such a thing. But there 15, almost 16 years later I did the same thing.

I wonder what the repercussions are going to be.

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